7 Days

One day after I began this journey, I decided to join Lafayette's Cajun Cup 10K Run. I felt so motivated by so many people that first day, I knew I had to do it. It was one of those things where you feel so motivated, excited, nervous, anxious all in one. Then you just commit to do it. Then when you're all alone riding home you have second thoughts, but you know you could never back out of it. Well, that's kind of how I felt. I put myself out there as fearless, but I was full of fear on the inside.

I went home and download the Couch to 10K app on my iPhone. This was just a start. I studied the app (ironically as I sat on the couch) and it became clear that I could never run for 5 minutes and walk for 5 minutes 13 times?! In one day? I resisted temptation to see how rough it would be in Week 12 when I'd be supposedly "ready" for the race. So I stuck to looking at Week 1 and no further. To be honest, I didn't think I'd make it to Week 12 so why look anyway?

My very first walk outside of my comfort zone (the church parking lot where the "nice", supportive people are) was in our neighborhood. I was afraid. Very afraid. Why? I'm not sure. I didn't want people to judge me and say, "Wow, what is he doing? He's going to have a heart attack running like that. Is that even running? Bless his heart." I just put my mind to it, turned up my music and started walking. If I'd pass a house with it's door closed I'd start to run. If a house would have a door open or if a car would come down my road, I'd walk. I can't explain why it felt so awkward. I guess it was pride.

Very early in my walk, I encountered every mail delivery person and runner's nightmare. A big dog. I am not afraid of dogs, but this one was intimidating. When I noticed his owner I was relieved until his owner turned his back and Satan (my name for the dog) started to come toward me. As my app spoke to me it said, "Run Now." I chose not to since I knew I couldn't outrun Satan. His mouth came toward my ankles like a lion and I was the innocent rhino. I've seen Animal Planet and knew this wouldn't end well so I just kept walking slowly. Finally out of his sight I decided to run. I tried to start to ignore everything around me or I would never even complete a mile. I was ridiculously anxious I know. I knew I had to focus and not let anything distract me. The dog, the passing cars, the open doors....all Satan's (the real deal, not the dog) tactics to try and put obstacles in my way.

I listened to my music and one verse after another in each song spoke to me. From facing my fears, letting go, and giving God control of it all. Really letting go. I knew that was the only way that I could do this. To keep doing this. To continue on this journey.

During Week 1, I walked & ran 16 miles and never once was bitten by Satan! He actually doesn't even come by me anymore. I still don't believe that I actually finished Week 1. Was it easy? NO! It was hard. VERY hard to keep going. But it's not by my strength that I run this race.

"When you are on a rough path,

God always provides the right shoes."

---Corrie Ten Boom